‘What were the dumbest lies you believed as a kid?’ – 27 funniest (and dumbest)

There are numerous upsides to being a kid, so many in fact that we don’t have room to even begin listing them here.

One of the downsides, alas, is a tendency to believe things that turn out later in life to be really, totally, hilariously untrue.

We only mention it – you can probably see where this is going – after Redditor AfterIsIsIsIsIsWas asked this.

“What were the dumbest lies you believed when you were a kid?”

And the answers came in thick and fast.

We’ve read them all – well, quite a lot of them – and here are 27 of the funniest (and dumbest, obviously).

‘When I was a kid my dad told me it cost 25 cents to change the radio station to keep me from f–king with the radio in his car. I believed that until I was 14.’
loipoikoi

‘Lost my stuffed animal (a white dog) in the airport in Miami when I was 5. It was my favorite and I was really sad about it. A few weeks later my mom presented me with a brown dog that otherwise looked exactly like the white one I’d lost.

‘She said the workers at the airport had found it and mailed it to us, but he got a tan because he was in Florida. Bought it hook line and sinker for a few years. Tan dog is now my son’s and he’s a big fan :)’
thallomys

‘That the hazard button in a car would blow the car up.’
-sstudderz

‘Holy shit im not the only one. Its such a scary symbol for a kid, only to find out it just makes the lights blink lol.’
ouchimus

‘My sister told me that if you count all the stones of Stonehenge you will die. I still don’t know how many stones there are in Stonehenge.’
Sardonnicus

‘I could not understand how all the deaths scenes in war movies seemed so realistic.

‘So, I asked one of my older brothers how they did it. He proceeded to tell me that they empty out state prisons in the area the movie is being made, dress them up and give them guns and tell them that if they survive the filming then they get to leave jail after. I was told that at around 7 and I believed it till I was around 10.’
DocBak1

‘That our entire house was covered by cork-sized security cameras and that my parents could see my every move.’
exeL4n

‘That the draining sound of the water in the bathtub was a monster that would suck you in as well. A lie made to get me out of the bath.’
Roefl

‘My older brother pranked me once. I had watched a kids’ TV show (I think it was “The Electric Company”) that featured a guest star who was a tap dancer.

‘My brother convinced me that tap dancers made their tapping sounds — not with their feet — but with their mouths. I spent the next several weeks trying to tap dance with my mouth noises before my mom made me quit.’
Hysterical_Realist

‘The button on your armrest on airplanes is the eject button. I found out it reclines your seat embarrassingly late.’
Nrd4Life

10.

‘My parents convinced us that the person knocking on our door on weekend nights when we were asleep was our uncle Shiloh stopping to say hello. We don’t have an uncle Shiloh. It was the pizza guy.’
smellslikeupdawg69

11.

‘When I was a little fellow my parents used to told me when you smoke you’ll die instantaneously. Unfortunately they forgot this at a campfire organized by our former neighborhood and smoked a cig. I remember I was desperately trying to stop them and cried all the time, because I thought they’re both about to die.’
Kojobu

12.

‘I was “in” on this lie between my mom and younger sister. My sister was about 5 years old at the time, and my mom convinced her that Benadryl was “truth serum.” My mom would threaten to give it to my sister if she knew she was lying. It was so hilarious, but my sister seriously believed it and would get upset.’
badgalbb22

13.

‘When I was a kid I asked my dad if reading enough books really could give you Telekinesis … (Matilda). He said yes. I spent many years after that thinking I just wasn’t doing enough