Partygate has seen people suggesting – again – that there’s one law for the government and another for the rest of us, but journalist and comedian Matt Chorley has dangled an altogether more enjoyable prospect.
One in 8 people say they would want to be prime minister.
But what law would you pass on your first day in No10?
[The more petty, trivial and vindictive the better]
— Matt Chorley (@MattChorley) February 17, 2022
Petty, trivial and vindictive or not, we’d certainly give our vote to quite a few of these.
Freddos to be 10p forever and always. Bring back Taz bars. Freddo caramel is not the same. Every time you get a solid kit kat your rent or mortgage is paid for for a year.
— Jo/Noony (@MurkinUnderbush) February 17, 2022
A strict law regarding the maximum number of low sofas permitted as seating in pubs. It would be very minimal, and correspond to overall area of pub https://t.co/xK3FvMofYF
— Dean Burnett (@garwboy) February 17, 2022
A royal commission to look into the reform of the UK’s Eurovision selection process. https://t.co/i3sWaSDV4o
— Samuel Jenkinson (@samueljenkinson) February 17, 2022
Life sentences with hard labour for those who play music without headphones on public transport.
— Brian Williams (@BriW74) February 17, 2022
Bendybuses to make accordion noises as they go round corners.
— Martyn Brunt (@MartynBrunt) February 17, 2022
No letter box would be permitted below waist height. Posties and political campaigners of the world unite!
— Cllr Malcolm Cunning (@Malcolm4Linn) February 17, 2022
Effective immediately, all cathedral musicians will be paid from the government purse. £150K/year for organists, £75K for lay clarks. Funded by a £10MM annual tax on the second home of all MPs and a £50MM annual tax on each additional home.
— Dan_in_BKK (@Dan_in_BKK) February 17, 2022
Men must keep their legs together on public transport.
— Linda Slater (@LindaMslater) February 17, 2022
Fixed penalty notices for confusing ‘less’ and ‘fewer’
— James Humpish (@JamesHumpish) February 17, 2022
Speaker of the House may shoot blancmange – via Parliamentary blancmange gun carried by Black Rod each day – at any Minister suspected of misleading the House. Accused individuals escape that fate by provision of detailed proof on the spot. Failure results in instant execution
— Millie Fiore (@MillieFiore) February 17, 2022