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We’ve all been the perfect parent, the kind of parent we always wanted to be… before we had kids. Then, reality hits.
Luckily, the witty parents of social media have been there and lived to tweet about it. Here are some of their sharp observations – via X, the thing that used to be known as Twitter – about the lies that parents tell themselves, either before they have kids and know better, or just because they need a little seed of hope to carry them through to bedtime.
"if you bring that with us, I'm not carrying it home for you", and other lies parents tell themselves…
— Heartless PE Teacher (@heartless_pe) August 26, 2020
New book:
“This is going to be a super chill & relaxing weekend.
And other lies that parents tell themselves.”#weekend#watchuswingit— Sid Balachandran (@iwrotethose) October 15, 2022
Me: I'll never lie to my child
Also me: yes, that's how the cookie came out of the package, yes it looks like someone took a bite, so weird
— Not Another Pinterest Mom (@xennial_mom) June 5, 2021
The great lies parents tell themselves is that a kid will sleep in after a night of disruptive sleep. pic.twitter.com/fISkDIO5ov
— Dani | ThisFloridaLife (@thisfloridalife) March 22, 2023
Which is the bigger lie parents tell themselves?
1. Only one big gift for Christmas this year
2. End of summer I’m gonna make them go to bed earlier to prepare for school
— Kevin Kuzma (@Kuzmanomics) August 25, 2023
‘I will never make different meals for my kids or pander to them and their whimsical ways.’ One of the many lies I told myself before having kids.. #parenting
— GeorginaFullerWriter (@GeorgieR30) June 27, 2020
My baby sleeps through the night, eats all the healthy food I put in front of him, is loving and sweet at all times, rarely cries, is really cute taking off his socks, and other lies I tell Facebook
— Not Another Pinterest Mom (@xennial_mom) April 27, 2019
I thought bedtime was supposed to get easier not worse as your kids get older or is that just one of those lies other parents told me or even a lie I told myself?
— Kendra Brown (@theonlykendra) February 2, 2022
Me, before I had kids: My kids will EAT what I put in FRONT OF THEM!
Me, this week: peeling the breading off of Wendy's chicken nuggets (because it's "too spicy") so the 3yo will eat it.
You learn. You change.
— Ohio mom of two 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ #BLM (@OhioMomoftwo) June 16, 2020
One of the biggest lies young parents tell themselves is that they will have time and money once kids are out of diapers.
That’s so far from the truth 😂
— William Harris (@wmharris101) September 20, 2023
Lies Parents Tell Themselves #4,328: Family putt-putt will be a fun, bonding experience.
— Duffy (@SureDItsAllGood) June 3, 2019
Biggest lie I told myself before having kids:
Kids don't need a lot of stuff. You'll still be able to pack lightly.
Yeah. No.
— Anne Michels (@Anne_Michels) January 2, 2021
“Fun for the whole family” is the greatest lie ever told.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) April 24, 2022
"I can catch up on sleep on the weekends" was the biggest lie I told myself about working nights with a baby.
— Pat Minotaur (@taranislegend) January 17, 2022
Lies parents of two tell themselves:
"We'll get two, that way they won't fight."
LOL
— Shaun Cougar Mellenreinert (@iLvShaunReinert) May 9, 2020
One of the biggest lies parents tell themselves is that they'll get to sleep again if they can just get through this period of time.
— Mommin by a Moment (@momminbyamoment) January 26, 2021
Lies parents tell themselves: "if the kids have a playdate, they'll leave me be and ill get so much done!" Hahaha, suuuuuuure they will 😭😭😭
— Laurie OConnor (@LOCnCode) December 8, 2018
Lies Parents Tell themselves Part 2:
“That’s it. We are done with diapers. I will potty train in 2 days and never buy diapers/pull-ups again!”
— Sarah Jackson (@SayRahJack) March 7, 2019
I thought it would be cute to teach my toddler my first name. Now that he wakes me by screaming it in my face I can admit how very wrong I was.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) July 18, 2019
The best part about having friends who are also new parents is making general plans for “when things slow down” and knowing you both mean in 3-5 years.
— The Dad (@thedad) January 29, 2022
"I miss that age" is one of the greatest lies parents tell themselves
— Let's Lose Elon Musk $500 Billion (@old_new_dad) May 26, 2020
I’m not saying parenting is hard. I’m just saying I was a lot better at it before I had kids.
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) March 21, 2019
Me, before children:
“I will raise my children to be well-adjusted, accomplished student-athletes who are kind, thoughtful leaders with a passion for trying new foods, experiences, and building meaningful relationships.”
Me, as a parent:
“I will raise my children. That’s it.”
— Amanda Marcotte | Mediocre Mommy (@storiesofamom) April 9, 2021
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