The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (Oct. 21-27)

The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humor lives on.

Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.

A haunted house but it's just people in the group chat refusing to commit to plans that would allow you to map out the rest of your day.

— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) October 22, 2023

Tonight I found out that my husband applies body lotion to his legs “cricket style” which involves applying lotion directly to his legs and then just… rubbing them together. Like a cricket

— Alyssa 🌻 (@alyssa_hakanson) October 23, 2023

Sometimes people I’m friends with on Facebook get married and change their last name on their profile and I’m like Absolutely Who The Fuck Is This Bitch Oh That’s Margot

— Natalie (@jbfan911) October 22, 2023

me and my 47 alarms pic.twitter.com/RMvftkOWzY

— chase (@_chase_____) October 22, 2023

Hotels be like, it’s $150 a night and you’re staying 2 nights so that brings your total to $947.43.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 26, 2023

dan and I had been lovingly gazing at each other in silence for a couple of seconds and at the same moment I eventually said “you’re very handsome” he blurted out “do you think I’d be a good mayor”

— Daisy Chandley (@daisychandley) October 22, 2023

Literally everyone is getting married pic.twitter.com/k3MOVXzY0I

— Hanna Dickinson (@hansdickie) October 23, 2023

gotta dress for this movie like I'm boarding a Southwest Flight pic.twitter.com/a2cVWBYtPb

— Claire (@clairecdowns) October 22, 2023

The vet called my 7 yr old dog a “senior” today which is impossible because she’s just a baby?? like… she & i discuss it often abt how she is just a tiny little baby … ??

— Amanda Brooke Perrin (@brookeperrin) October 24, 2023

This is literally exactly how i start acting around my boyfriends parents pic.twitter.com/5fjANNuPYo

— helena (@freshhel) October 22, 2023

The adult version of "head, shoulders, knees and toes" is "wallet, glasses, keys and phone."

— mariana Z (@mariana057) October 22, 2023

love that everyone’s rock bottom is registering for a data analytics course https://t.co/MFXezRVBuk

— Andréa Becker (@andreavbecker) October 22, 2023

the first thing i thought when i got home was "should i eat dinner or dissociate on the couch" then i decided to do both see women can have it all

— Lane Moore📚 (@hellolanemoore) October 26, 2023

i lost the pumpkin carving contest which is insane pic.twitter.com/Qh28GsezLb

— kenzi (@kenzianidiot) October 21, 2023

Very into this couple on Grand Designs who have failed to make any bedrooms for their two teenage daughters but did travel to Marrakech to personally oversee the design of about 25 small tiles for the kitchen floor

— Alice Jones (@alicevjones) October 25, 2023

don’t invite me to the function unless this is the vibe pic.twitter.com/DUKOb9du6o

— clare (@sadderlizards) October 25, 2023

Regularly haunted by my own hubris – tried to set my bf up on a playdate with my coworkers husband because they both “really like bikes.” Anyways, it turns out her husband was in the Tour De France

— C. E. Aubin (@ceaubin) October 25, 2023

I been crying laughing for an hour man. My homeboy rents his car out to ppl on Turo, and somebody rented his Camaro from him for 4 days right? They tinted his windows yall LMFAOOOOOO brought his shit back with tinted windows WHY 😭 pic.twitter.com/X9Mb8Pg0yc

— wiz fajita (@trillary_banks_) October 23, 2023

i feel bad for Netflix era kids. they will never know what it was like to run to the bathroom/fridge/bedroom while a commercial break was on, and the sound of there sibling scream “It’s ON!!!”

— Invis🧜♀️ (@invis4yo) October 21, 2023

being unapologetically myself! https://t.co/U5QtR40iTu

— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) October 25, 2023

neighbor has listened to moves like jagger 3 times in a row… do i wellness check ?

— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) October 23, 2023

this is probably so popular at monsters university pic.twitter.com/oAyBg7NBOU

— Ms. Grace Kuhlenschmidt (@GKuhlenschmidt) October 22, 2023

I had to explain to a man that period blood isn’t like just liquid blood and that it’s more similar to a Venom type creature

— meg “Yooper” bitchell (@MeganBitchell) October 24, 2023