The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 3-9)

One of the most challenging parts of parenthood is being caught off guard by those tough questions about life, like this morning when my 13 y/o daughter randomly asked me, “Do dogs sleepwalk?”

— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) February 5, 2024

My 6 year old, who LOVES owls, is BEGGING to go to the owl restaurant 💀💀💀💀 pic.twitter.com/fczjQg8j8k

— Christie Curry (@ChristieCurry25) February 4, 2024

since she wanna be cinderella so bad pic.twitter.com/XE0stgm9Qe

— baby spice (@Zonnique) February 3, 2024

Telling a ghost story around a campfire, but it’s just me describing mammograms to my 10 and 14yo daughters.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) February 6, 2024

Check on your friends with a teenage driver on their insurance policy, we aren’t doing good.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 5, 2024

School: stop coddling your children

Also school: we’re cancelling school for the solar eclipse

— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) February 5, 2024

Secret to peaceful parenting is to never tell your child the plans for the day

— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) February 8, 2024

My husband and son are going away for a swim meet in a couple weeks so I’m having a ✨Girls Weekend✨ with my 4yo and 6yo, which will be nice, but every time I ask what they want to do for ✨Girls Weekend✨ they just say “CAKE.”

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) February 4, 2024

Hey mamas! Here's some inspo for those 75th Day of School gifts for your child's class. Don't forget to set up Lincoln on the Shelf for 3 weeks leading up to President's Day! And I have a code for 2% off an Ides of March Fairy costume for when you fill those Caesar baskets!

— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) February 6, 2024

They should have a subscription service for kids shoes.

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) February 5, 2024

Getting my kids a gaming PC setup has given me instant regret because I was so excited about it that I failed to realize I am now 24/7 tech support please help me.

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) February 4, 2024

“Mama, I found all this artwork I made in the trash! Good thing I found it and took it back out.” – my 6yo, innocently thinking all that artwork ended up there by accident.

— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) February 4, 2024

my daughter is walking around slapping her stomach demanding dessert and i think ive been going about life the wrong way

— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) February 6, 2024

My parenting book:

Chapter 1: Ask Mommy
Chapter 2: Don’t Tell Mommy

— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) February 6, 2024

Whenever a parent makes a post about their picky kid there is ALWAYS someone who comments “We did Baby Led Weaning with my kid, it’s so easy, you just feed them what you’re eating. My baby eats everything. She’s 11 months old.” and you just want to be like “aw, honey.”

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) February 3, 2024

Me: good morning my mermaid

My 2yo: I not mermaid anymore

Me: okay

Her: I a fish with hair

Me: pic.twitter.com/WYJGN2OIBY

— Princess (@themultiplemom) February 8, 2024

driving home after my son's soccer game we heard the song Creep and my son said he didn't know who was singing it, but it was a terrible version. It was Radiohead.

I have failed as a parent

— 🌜🤷♂️ Dad Moon Rising 🤷♂️🌛 (@raoulvilla) February 5, 2024

8-year-old: When can I stay up as late as I want?

Me: When you're an adult.

8: By then, my life will be over.

You have no idea.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 7, 2024

Trying to binge watch a show when you’re a parent takes about 20 years, apparently.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 4, 2024

The kids realized I bought store-brand ketchup and now they're all singing "It's the Hard-Knock Life" from the Annie musical.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 5, 2024