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When Ìfẹ́dayo Agoro started sharing her story through Diary of a Naija Girl (DANG), she never thought it’d grow to become this big community where women would bond, share their stories, experience all-round love and sisterhood, and find support. She also never thought it’d become one of Nigeria’s biggest lifestyle brands. But, in 2020, when she announced the sales of her candles and over 5000 people signed up to test the product, it dawned on her – for the umpteenth time – that there was something special about the DANG community.
Born in Shogunle in 1983, Ife’s childhood shaped her perception of life. She grew up with a sense of camaraderie and equality, and it never occurred to her that the expectations for boys and girls were different. In her environment, boys and girls used to play football, dance at parties and play tennis together. It was not until she reached adulthood she realised that society does not view men and women as the same. It was important for her to open a space where she could share her experiences and have conversations like this, and where women could be inspired and impacted. And DANG was born.
Ìfẹ́dayo Agoro, CEO of DANG Lifestyle and founder of Diary of a Naija Girl, talks to us about DANG and building this community where women find inspiration, support, and a space to embrace their vulnerabilities and triumphs. Enjoy!
Hello Ife, thank you for being here
Hiiii, it’s so good to be here. Thank you for having me.
We’re happy to have you, Ife. Let’s start with your background and everything that shaped who you are today
I was born in 1983, into a house of two siblings. We didn’t grow up with much and I grew up in a slum in Shogunle. It was fun because we didn’t see it as a slum; it was a place where we could play and had no reason to think about our circumstances. And that affected me in a good way because everybody – men and women – was doing everything together: playing football, tennis, racing, going to parties to dance and others. There was no difference between us and that’s how I grew up. So when I stepped into adulthood, it took me a while to adjust to knowing that men and women cannot play football together, that men and women are not getting the same treatment, and that expectations are different for women and men. I was supposed to study Law because my mum thought I was up for it but I ended up studying English at Olabisi Onabanjo University, which is such a blessing because it shows in how I write now. I graduated in 2006 and went to work in different places. I worked at a creative company, a financial company and then Oil & Gas where I stayed for a long time before focusing on DANG lifestyle.
You started building the DANG community anonymously at a time when showing one’s face was important to connect with the audience. Why?
Starting anonymously kind of tied into the fact that my face wasn’t important when we could discuss important conversations. My face wasn’t the most important thing on the platform; it was the conversation that I wanted us all to have. The women were being inspired and impacted, so what’s the face for? I mean, I like to dress well and look good, but I do not get a life in my ego or self-esteem by getting accolades from others. It’s nice, I won’t lie but it’s not how I thrive. So I didn’t think there was any need and it was also fun – people guessed my hands, legs and it allowed to me tease them. Which I still do.
When the time came to reveal myself, it was because someone sent my picture to my email and said, “There you are. I’m going to make sure I put you out there.” I wasn’t going to allow that because my story has always been mine to tell. Another reason was that I wanted to start a skincare company and wanted people to see the trajectory of my skin, from what it was to what it is. Everybody can definitely attest that this (my face) wasn’t how it was.
Interesting. Let’s talk about how you have managed to maintain a positive vibe for DANG, particularly in a toxic social media world
I believe that the way you want to be perceived is how you treat people. The kind of energy you want in your environment is also what you should accept. From the beginning of DANG, we made sure we were not about the noise or trying to trend just because. There’s no need for that. The society is founded on the fact that we want to thrive as women. We want to discuss important topics, laugh and try to live our best lives and these have nothing to do with just making noise on social media. We believe that, as women, what is more important is us and making sure that inside of us, we’re thriving. That’s how we started. And we also quickly cut off anything that brings toxicity or negative vibes. It is very hard to find toxic comments in our comments because, from the beginning, we have been able to avoid them. We’ve always maintained that DANG is not a place for that and if anyone brings this into the comment, we tell the person to delete it, but not block them. We just let them know. And you find that when they come back, they do better or apologise. We’ve been able to grow that sort of community and it’s just really amazing to see.
It’s really amazing, Ife. I mean, we’ve seen people build friendships, get vulnerable and get support on the platform. Did you foresee this from the onset?
If I’m being honest with you, I saw nothing. I wasn’t thinking about what it’d become in 5 years. Nothing. I just carried my laptop and started writing. The moment I thought this was a thing was probably in 2020 when we first sold out the DANG Lifestyle candles in a week. I was like, “How did we sell out so quickly?” The community has never had to support me in anything; they’ve supported each other and other women, but they’ve never had to support me in anything. It was like they were waiting. And as soon as the company launched the candles and perfume oil, it just went off. And then I started noticing that DANG is a proper community of women supporting women. And it was overwhelming. I didn’t even intend to create a community, I just wanted to write so other women could hear me, see me, understand me and also come out of that feeling of shame and being quiet. 2020 was the year I realised DANG is something for real.
Speaking of selling to the community, was it hard to turn the community into customers?
It wasn’t hard to sell to the community simply because we had a conversation. I asked, “Who wants to test a skin care product from me?” and 5 thousand people applied to test the product. That’s a lot but it was the test we used to tell people that, “Look, this person is part of us. Look what it has done for her.” My journey as an entrepreneur does not start like others and I’m very grateful for that because people were waiting to support and buy. I put a lot of work into it, right? But no matter how much work you put into a business when you don’t have customers, you’re working for nothing. The community turned DANG Lifestyle into the growing company it is today.
We love to see it! Let’s go back to DANG and storytelling. How were you able to pull off the courage to share your story when you started without the fear of backlash?
There’s always backlash but I’ve never stood on that and decided I wasn’t going to share anymore. When we started, it was to say there’s no shame in our game, we’d speak our minds, it may not sit well with you but you will be fine. The backlash has come, many times. Sometimes, it hurts when what I’m saying is different from people’s interpretation, but I just keep going. Except you want me to be perfect, which is not possible, there will always be slip-ups, and everybody should be okay with that.
It’s easy to get broken by people’s stories. How have you been able to listen and tell these stories without internalising them over the years?
Some time ago, I used to talk to a therapist because I’m an empath and the stories get to me and I’d want to help even when I don’t have the power. So talking to a therapist at the time really helped me to balance and detach because you can not help every day. These days, I just step back. I allow them to tell their stories without taking them on.
I’ve witnessed the growth of DANG’s page and community over the years, how have you been able to create and innovate in this ever-changing digital and social media space?
First, I want to get to where I don’t have to post every day because social media feels like you have to come correct and post every day. The second thing is, when it comes to Diary of a Naija Girl, the people already run the platforms with their stories and engagements. They send me things, and I post for them. Also, employing young people who are interested in growing the brand has helped. We’re just taking it one step at a time. But for DANG Lifestyle, it has a lot of people working there. There’s the digital marketing team that is there to push out a lot of ads and make sure we’re visible in places that matter.
That’s interesting. Tell me about one special experience that made you feel so close to the members of the community
From the beginning, I have always come as I am and as I’d always be. Seeing that women now come to me as they are feels surreal. There are so many stories sent to me that I don’t know where to start. Sometimes I wonder, “How do you send me this? Are you not worried I will judge you?” But the stories just keep coming because it’s a safe space for us. It’s always been a safe space.
Congratulations on the DANG Women Fest, Ife
Thank you!
What significance does DANG Women Fest hold in society?
There have been a lot of events for women but DANG Women Fest was different. The DANG community is known for our vulnerability so there was no need for women to come correct; women could be themselves. Our panelists did not come to tell people to “aspire to perspire,” instead, they shared real-life situations and were as vulnerable as they could be. The DANG Women’s Fest was a place where women let us know who they are, what they have gone through and how we could learn from their experiences. We had such a good time.
This has been a very insightful conversation, Ife
Thank you so much.
Any words for the DANG community?
To the members of the DANG community, thank you for teaching me so much over the years. I thought I was coming to share but I’ve learnt so much from you all. Thank you for supporting DANG Lifestyle and making us grow to where we are today. You guys are amazing. And I hope we continue to grow to learn and unlearn and continue to be a safe space for one another.
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