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It is very common to hear many fathers cite things like “work, “hustle”, “financial obligations” and so on as reasons for not being around enough for their children. Many do not lie. A few findings show that factors such as prolonged hours at the workplace and work overload are associated with a low-quality parent-child relationship. In this part of the country, we are no strangers to economic challenges, long work hours and intense work obligations, however, the COVID-19 pandemic served as a powerful reminder of the irreplaceable role of family, and the essence of fatherhood. It is a no-brainer: children need their fathers. They need men they can look up to; fathers to show them what is possible in the world; fathers to love and care for them and be there with saving arms should they fall. The message is clear: work, while important, is not enough reason to be absent in your children’s lives.
For Father’s Day 2024, we’re focusing on what it means to be a hands-on, working-class dad and how fathers who work hard can also be fathers who are present, all-around – nurturing the growth and development of their children. So it is no surprise that we ask Babajide Duroshola to join us in this conversation. Babajide has a thriving career; he is the General Manager at M-KOPA but he is equally a hands-on, present dad.
Today, he shares how fathers can balance work and fatherhood. Read!
Hi Babajide. How are you today?
I’m generally well, and excited to be alive and watch my boys grow, blocking out the noise of what’s happening in the country.
Great! What was that emotion you felt when you got the news that you became a father for the first time?
Well… It was so many emotions wrapped into one but the first emotion when I held my first son was love. Like, “Look at this beautiful boy I produced with someone else.” I can’t forget the rush of joy I had in the hospital as he cried out loud. Then fear kicked in because, now you are a dad and someone else depends on you to raise them the right way. By the second one, I was a pro and it was just full of joy because I knew what to do. Being a dad is exciting, fun and scary at the same time.
I know right! Given the limited time you might have due to work commitments, how do you ensure that the time you spend with your children is meaningful and impactful?
Haha, my kids are a joy so I spend as much time as I can with them – from doing school runs to taking them to the sporting games on Sunday, watching TV or just having tickle time (my youngest loves being tickled). In fact, one Thursday J1 (we call them J1 and J2) said to me, “Daddy, I love you, you are the best daddy ever.” We were going to school and my heart really melted. Money is great but time with my kids is priceless, so I spend so much time with them. Being in senior leadership does help me structure my time better. During midterm, I take them to my office and they sit and watch me work. Now, J1 has an office of his own which he constantly shows me. Meanwhile, he is living in my house rent-free, haha.
Let the boy show off his office, please
Like I have a choice.
How do you balance the demands of your job with being an active and present father? Are there specific routines that have worked that you have adopted?
Yes, life is about routines and it is important kids see you in a routine. It helps. For me, no meetings before 8 a.m. This allows me to spend time with them in the morning before school. 5 to 7 p.m. is also their time. I pick up work again by 9 pm after they have gone to sleep and then we go again the next day. On weekends, they come to our room and we all just stay in bed for one hour before I take J1 for swimming, if his mum isn’t going. When I’m travelling, I tell them a week before and let them know when I’ll return. I also show them pictures and videos of my trip. It helps me bond with them after I’ve broken my routine.
How important has your support system been in balancing work and family life? Can you share a moment that made you appreciate what they do?
Well, it’s mostly my spouse and my wife’s niece of recent. It has been very important because I can go on work trips and know that they will be fine or should I have meetings that make me miss school pickup, I can ask my wife to help me get the boys. My wife’s niece helps supervise the nanny so we can go on date nights and just relax. Also, it’s just fun having people in the house generally.
What’s that moment or experience that made you feel proud as a father to your children?
It was a time we went to a party and Caprison was shared with the kids. For some reason, they did another round and when it got to J1’s turn, he said “No, thank you. I’ve had one already.” I just stared in awe because of the level of contentment he showed that day. He is just 5 and already learning to be content and that made me very happy and proud.
Awwn. How can working-class fathers be more involved in their children’s lives?
While money is very important, building a relationship with your child is far more important. Don’t put in all that work for them to later despise you because they never saw you around. Our work can leave us but family will always stay. Spend as much time as you can, and if you can sit them down and explain why, you would be surprised how much kids do understand.
Happy Father’s Day, Babajide. We are proud of the father you have become
Thanks for having me, BellaNaija.
The post Father’s Day 2024: Babajide Duroshola Shares Tips on Balancing Career with Fatherhood appeared first on BellaNaija – Showcasing Africa to the world. Read today!.
