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One of the first times I met Llona was at camp for him, before the release of HBP.
He saw how I approached music and said he wanted to play me his album. He told me the stories behind every song, the experiences behind every line, the struggles behind every melody.
At the end of that conversation, in the wee hours of the morning, I told Llona something. I said, “Our generation, we are all alone. We’re youths searching for homes and identities. You’re our Llona. Our experience is your weapon. Be our voice”.
After the release of Another Day, we had one of those days where we hosted a camp and made some of the best music from this part of the world. One random night at camp, we sit in the kitchen. Myself, Llona, Spice and Joe. We talk.
For a long time, we talk. About Llona and his music, life and his journey, the past and the future, we have a long, truthful conversation in the midst of white clouds and occasional red lights.
At a point in our conversations, he said sometimes he spends time thinking of why he had to go through all he did to get to where he is. I laughed. He had to. He wouldn’t be Llona if he didn’t go through that phase alone. His name is a testimony of his struggles and a reflection of the generation he represents and speaks for.
A people’s person can’t be a loner. That’s why his originality is as familiar as it is different. It’s us. He’s scared of the originality of his own music. He told me he doesn’t play ‘Happy Homes’. He goes:
“Remember the journey
Remember the days when I’m telling my mommy
Oluwa Lon sho mi
His Spirit is coming
He say that I’m for God o
It’s all in my body
People that I owe this
The people that broke me
Coming from my throne…,
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I can’t even remember the lyrics. Sometimes when I drop I’m not ready for the emotions, like Gangstar Love Letter. I’m not ready for that song to drop. During the shoot for Stranger, that’s a song I made for my dad, I had to walk off the set to cry bro, I’m not even kidding, them Tolu didn’t know, I just left…”
We talk about God. This man loves God and strives to know Him. He says he could never have been without God. He speaks a lot about Jesus and the Bible. “I’m too gangster for suicide”, he says. “I can’t kill myself, but now I have to die, so I go outside under the rain saying mean things to God so thunder can strike me and put me out of the misery I call life. Then when the rain is done beating me, I’ll catch a cold and go to sleep”.
We talk about music generally and he talks about passion in music. From knowing Blaqbonez, Limerick and half the entire industry in 2015, getting depressed and desperate when Reminisce signed Oladips, to getting scammed by fake record labels online claiming to look for talents to sign and having a rap battle with Picazo Rhap, Yomi Blaze and Wonder H one week before Olamide signing them.
We talk about growing up in an army cantonment. Siblings, poverty, depression, sisters that don’t understand his depression, Abuja, JB, accidents, his first rodeo in the music industry. He shares with me how he should have blown in the past, twice.
A particular experience struck out, where he said he had a then fraudster friend who wanted to push him, and he told him in his words “my music is too honest for you to push with fraud money, and God will take everything gotten with this money for us to move forward”.
Funny thing? That’s exactly what happened.
He says he’s unfazed. He reminisces on when he used to have 100 downloads on datafilehost.com “I did everything to blow as Tooclassiq, don’t worry. But it wasn’t meant to be. That wasn’t the person God wanted the world to meet. And I didn’t like him. Me being dope now is me running away from that person.
If I blew as Tooclassiq, my era for don pass”. I laughed, then said to him “you can’t hate him. He existed so you can have the story and experience of being Llona. He died so you could live. In biblical terms, he’s your John the Baptist”. He laughs, he says “Wow, that’s so real. We fear death, but at the same time, we respect life. I just want to keep teaching while I’m here.
Llona sacrifices his pain and mental stability to serve the world with music. To be constantly reminded of your pain, your past, and your experiences, every time you step up on stage is mentally challenging. You see people sing word for word, lost in the ecstasy of your song, each relating to it in their own way, but nobody knows.
One man fast, one man slow, one man singing, another one dancing, nobody knows.
I could tell you how special Llona is. I could tell you how his pen is ahead of the entire industry at this point. I could tell you how his melodies are powerfully crafted in divine realms and given to him. I could. With words you don’t understand, I could. But I don’t need to. He will. His music already is.
I picked up my pen to tell you that your conscience has found a voice, your reality has found an expression, your experiences have found melodies, your journey has found a witness.
The name of this voice is Llona.
Have this in mind. We’re documenting our generation. We’ve had fashion brands identify our style, and put the defiance and ruthlessness of our generation in our outfits. We’ve had events show the world how we like to party. We’ve had food brands represent how we want a taste of a variety of good life as a generation. We’ve put ourselves in everything while hiding our true emotions.
We’ve identified vulnerability as a weakness, and chosen to not show any sign of emotions. Not Llona. Not this soldier. Soldiers feel too, and he’s here to represent that. Our pain. Our reality. Our broken homes. Our destroyed minds. Our warped realities. The stories we can’t tell. I’ve listened to Llona sing, and I’ve listened to him speak.
Llona is not sad. He’s numb. Like all of us in this generation, whether we admit it or not. He’s broken. He’s chasing music, but he’s looking for peace. He’s past sad. He’s fighting for life now, and it’s a Cold War. I put down my pen a while ago, but I picked it up again for Llona.
And to the Nigerian music space, this is the monster you made. He’s the consequence of your illegalities. He is the coin you will be repaid in. You’ll sing his pain. You’ll dance to his struggles. We’re homeless, and he’s the soldier assigned to make sure we’re okay.
We are all alone, he is our Llona.
