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The Scouser and I have been hanging around the Ribble Valley again, because we may as well be cold, rained-on and resentful somewhere pretty, so this week’s review is of “Little Town Farm Shop” in Thornley.
After being toyed with by my Sat Nav for twenty minutes, we parked next to a coach in the busy car park and made our way to the café.
It was mid-morning on a Friday and the sun was suddenly shining, so we chose a table in the covered outdoor section of the café and had a look at the menu.
Read more: See all of Karen’s foodie reviews
It carried the cafe staples of salad, baked potatoes, breakfasts and sandwiches, all of which were on the pricier side for a coffee shop. For instance, two slices of “Lancashire cheese on toast with a dash of Lancashire sauce and a small side salad” was £10.75. I’m a huge fan of local produce, but it’s frustrating when buying local is more expensive than buying food from miles away. Especially considering that Lancashire cheese from a Lancastrian farm shop is so local that I could have walked outside and irritated some straight out of a cow for free, if I was a bit weird and fractionally more creepy.
The Scouser chose “two poached eggs on two slices of toast” for £7.65 and a latte for £3.70. It was being straddled by some wispy shrubbery (pea shoots?) but I managed to remove it before he noticed and judged the egg as guilty of being a vegetable by association.
The poached eggs were fresh, perfectly cooked and served on two slices of wholemeal toast. The verdict was “alright” but, if we’d noticed on the menu that we could have swapped the generic sliced bread for sourdough for an extra ten pence, we’d have ordered that and been happier with the value.
I wasn’t very hungry or hugely inspired by the menu, but then noticed the “Senior Special: Half a sandwich served with crisps, tea or ground coffee and a small piece of cake for £10.50.”
Am I a senior? I’ve got the grey hair, the kaftan, the reading glasses, the hip pain and the relentless existential dread, and I make some terrifying noises when I’m trying to pick something up. Facebook advert algorithms don’t think I’ve got long left, so have been cautiously suggesting that I take out life insurance before it’s too late and, on one memorable occasion, announced “we’ve found something we think you’ll like!” followed by a link to a wheelchair shop.
The evidence is there, so I figured that I may as well use the prematurely silver lining from that cloud and see if I could pass as an Old Person. I ordered in a slightly quavery voice just in case.
The waiter accepted my senior status so unquestioningly that I don’t think I even needed the quaver, leaving me simultaneously elated that I’d flown under the radar and more offended than I’ve ever been in my life.
My half a tuna mayonnaise sandwich had a decent amount of filling, and was accompanied by a few crisps, a tiny bowl of coleslaw and a small dollop of what I think may have been some kind of tomato and onion chutney. The bread was fresh- though again- could have been much improved by being thicker and crustier…more like it had been hand cut by a Lancashire Nana with a blunt bread knife. Maybe they give the seniors the soft bread so we’re not cluttering up a table for two hours whilst we try to gum off our first mouthful of sandwich.
The sliver of lemon cake was the highpoint of my meal: Light, super lemony and not too sweet. I’d definitely go back and try some of the other cakes on offer, as a wander into the Farm Shop revealed an array of splendid specimens to buy. Further round, there were meats, cheeses and ready meals, all looking enticing enough to merit the farm shop price tag.
As we were waiting for the bill I gave The Scouser a little history lesson about the Pendle witches, before reminiscing about how I was often cast as a witch in school plays, and he helpfully responded that it was probably because of my nose and my chin, which made the afternoon spectacularly memorable for both of us.
Our visit to the Little Town Farm Shop in Thornley was pleasant, but a little pricey for quite basic food. However, the cakes alone are worth a trip, even more so when combined with the polite service from the staff, the lively atmosphere and the beautiful surroundings.
Unfortunately, as it was our first visit, we made a few rookie mistakes. The view from our table was of cars and coaches, so we’d have been better sitting upstairs in the main building where we could see over the vehicles towards the stunning hills and dales of the Ribble Valley, through the floor to ceiling windows.
The tearoom at Little Town Farm Shop is clearly doing something right, as evidenced by the packed car park and the visiting coaches so I think we missed something.
It’s hard to wow customers with your cooking skills via poached eggs on toast and tuna sandwiches, other than making sure they’re good value. If the cakes are an indicator of the quality of the homemade food on offer, we might have been more impressed by the homemade items such as the “soup of the day” (£7.50) or the “pie, chips and gravy,” (£14.95) so perhaps that’s the way to go next time.
Are you a senior aged 50+ without life insurance? Comment below NOW, and receive a free personalised commemorative pen plate clock with your blurry, terrified face printed on it.*
*I’m lying, you will definitely not receive a personalised, commemorative pen plate clock with your face or anyone else’s printed on it. Sorry. But you can still comment, if you like?
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