‘Waffles For Every Meal’: Trolls Turn Wes Streeting’s Call For Tips To Improve NHS Into 1 Big Joke

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Members of the public have been asked to give their ideas on how to reform the NHS.
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Members of the public have been asked to give their ideas on how to reform the NHS.

A bid by Wes Streeting to encourage the public to come up with ideas to improve the NHS has been hijacked by pranksters.

The health secretary this morning launched a consultation exercise looking for feedback from patients as he draws up a 10-year strategy for the health service.

Within hours, hundreds of suggestions had been made via the NHS website.

However, some of the ideas which have been submitted suggest a large number of people are not taking the exercise entirely seriously.

They included “waffles for every meal”, a “public BMI test for ministers” and “cinema tickets on the NHS”.

“Waffles should be provided free of charge to all patients for every meal as they have multiple proven health benefits,” said one contributor.

“Ideally they would also be provided to the entire country although this would likely take longer to implement.”

On testing ministers’ BMI (body mass index), one user said: “Ministers love telling us we all need to eat healthily and lose weight. They even want the NHS to come into our offices and weigh us at work.

“Let’s see if they’re practicing what they preach. I propose to that all health ministers and the prime minister should take monthly BMI tests and publish the results. If we have to, why shouldn’t they?”

One person, who thought the public should be prescribed taxpayer-funded trips to the movies, said: “Cinemas need a boost – often empty post pandemic. We need hospital beds. People like films. People have mental health issues.

“Solution – the NHS rents out empty seats in cinemas so people can watch a film whilst they’re waiting to be seen or under observations. Win win?”

Another suggestion was to “incorporate Daleks into the NHS” because “they have lots of experience with doctors”.

Other ideas included replacing ambulance sirens with healthy eating advice, serving alcohol to hospital patients, giving free Monster energy drinks to secondary school pupils, creating an NHS for pets and forcing Keir Starmer to give the clothes he got for free to health service staff.

Streeting himself got in on the gag by claiming the chancellor had rejected the idea of a Wetherspoon’s pub in every hospital.

There were many more serious ideas, however. They included combatting NHS fraud, charging patients for missed appointments and free prescriptions for everyone.

Urging as many people as possible to take part in the consultation, Streeting said: “Today the NHS is going through the worst crisis in its history. But while the NHS is broken, it’s not beaten. Together, we can fix it.

“Whether you use the NHS or work in it, you see first-hand what’s great, but also what isn’t working. We need your ideas to help turn the NHS around.

“In order to save the things we love about the NHS, we need to change it. Our 10 Year Health Plan will transform the NHS to make it fit for the future, and it will have patients’ and staff’s fingerprints all over it.

“I urge everyone to go to Change.NHS.uk today and help us build a health service fit for the future.”