I plan to retire in 2025. Am I financially prepared?

On the Money is a monthly advice column. If you want advice on spending, saving, or investing — or any of the complicated emotions that may come up as you prepare to make big financial decisions — you can submit your question on this form. Here, we answer a question asked by a Vox reader, which has been edited and condensed.

This falls into the category of “complicated emotions that may come up as you prepare to make big financial decisions:” I am 65 and thinking of retiring. I am working with an investment adviser. We have tentatively set the end of 2025 as my retirement date, and I can see on paper that this would be workable, but my two kids (in their mid-20s) will still need a lot of help financially beyond that —  more help than I can give them once I’m no longer working. 

Knowing my own emotional tendencies, I would feel guilty and selfish to make my retirement a higher priority than continuing to help them as I am now doing, but I also think I’d feel increasingly resentful the longer I worked past 2025. Can personal finance even provide an answer to this dilemma, assuming that we’d all survive either way?

Dear Thinking of Retiring,

It’s good that you wrote me when you did because we’ve just turned the page on a new year — which means you can make a New Year’s resolution to solve this problem in a way that does not leave you feeling guilty and resentful. 

Start by talking to your investment adviser. When this person tells you that you can retire at the end of 2025, what do they specifically mean? You told me that you can give your children financial help while you’re working but that you do not anticipate being able to provide help after you retire. Does this mean you’ll be starting your retirement on a minimal budget with very little wiggle room? This could be a problem in the long term, and not just for your children. 

Look carefully at how much income you might have as a retiree, and then ask yourself what you hope to do in your retirement. A life in which you do not have extra money to help your children may also be a life in which you do not have extra money to take a vacation or move into a new home or cover a significant unexpected expense. 

On that note, you should think carefully about the types of expenses you can reasonably expect over the next few decades. Your children may get married, for example. You may have grandchildren whom you want to visit regularly. Even if you aren’t the type of parent who decides to help your children with educational expenses or down payments — and you don’t have to be — it’s reasonable to expect that you’ll put at least some money toward your continued relationship. Although you didn’t mention any responsibilities toward the generation above you, it’s also reasonable for a retiree to anticipate putting both money and time toward the care of parents or in-laws. 

With that in mind, take some time to talk to your children about their expectations and goals, both in terms of their own financial stability as well as any help they may be anticipating. If you have provided your children with large amounts of financial support in the past and/or bailed them out of various financial jams, they have a right to know that this support may change in the future. You may also feel better about your decision to retire if you know that your children have a plan that includes skill-building, career-building, and basic financial management. Can they make and stick to a budget? Can they save for the future? Do they have goals they’re working toward?

If your children aren’t taking money seriously right now, don’t worry — and don’t feel guilty. You all have a year to sort through this problem, which could include honest conversations about what each of you can afford and what types of expenses you might need to prepare for. A 20-something may need to be ready to move to a new city for a higher-paying job, for example — and a 60-something may need to be ready to cover airfare for the holidays. 

The more you talk about what each of you want and need, the more you can prepare for your own retirement. I do not suggest continuing to work solely for the benefit of your adult children, since you already have mixed emotions about this idea — and the last thing I want is for you to spend 2025 feeling miserable about the way you are earning and spending your money. But you’ve got a year to figure out whether you can actually retire on your current savings and investments and whether your children have enough knowledge and preparedness to handle the next phase of their lives without your immediate financial help. These conversations can give you a clearer picture of what the future might look like. Since everyone will “survive either way,” as you put it, there’s an opportunity to make positive, productive choices without the pressures associated with scarcity. Use that privilege wisely.

So that’s your assignment for 2025 — or, if you prefer, your New Year’s resolution. Get these issues resolved while you’re still working so you know when you can retire without guilt.