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When a new bride wanted to leave her marriage two weeks in, therapist and founder of ForwardUs Counselling Evon Inyang told HuffPost UK: “If something isn’t feeling right, if you’re already rationalising behaviours … [then] pause.”
Well, Redditor u/Intelligent_Half8061 has done just that based on the post she shared to Reddit’s r/AITAH (Am I The A**hole Here) forum.
The 28-year-old poster wrote to say that her 30-year-old fiancé had bought a house behind her back ― but that wasn’t even what made her “call off” the wedding.
The couple had planned to buy a home together
The post author said she had been with her partner for five years, and they had planned to buy a home together.
“We had a whole plan to save up, find something we both loved, and make it our home. This was talked about a lot,” she wrote.
But he recently revealed he’d bought a house, without even letting her know he was looking. As if that wasn’t enough, he’d purchased it with his mother.
“Apparently she found ‘the perfect place’ and convinced him to split it with her because she ‘didn’t want to rent anymore’,” the poster explained.
“So now, instead of us planning our future together, he’s financially tied to his mother, who’s going to be living there full-time.”
When the Redditor called her fiancé out on this huge betrayal, she said he told her that she was welcome to move in too and claimed he’d made the purchase because she was “taking too long” to find a place.
“I was so shocked and pissed, I told him I needed space,” she added.
After a while, she realised she “can’t marry someone who thinks this is normal,” so she called off the wedding.
“And now his whole family is blowing up my phone saying I’m being dramatic, that ‘it’s just a house’, and that I’m overreacting bc [because] we can still ‘live together.’ Even my own parents are saying cancelling the whole wedding is extreme,” she ended her post, before asking if she’s in the wrong.
Commenters pretty much uniformly agreed she isn’t the problem here
“NTA [not the asshole]”, u/Shai7809 wrote under the post.
“He didn’t tell you, he didn’t include you, and he just expects you to live with his mom. You’re an afterthought.”
“The kick in the teeth is that he made sure to take care of himself in terms of big-ticket assets, leaving OP exposed if they should ever split,” u/ZenFieryrooster agreed.
“He’s chosen who he wants to live with…and it’s not you,” u/shammy_dammy commented.
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