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This week I took two gaming enthusiasts, Elizabeth Nightingale and her wife Sarah Nightingale, to All Hope, No Promises in Preston City Centre. In addition to serving tempting cocktails as per when it was a bar in Guildhall Street, it’s now home to the food from what was Smashed in Miller Arcade – the best Preston-based team up since Nick Park and a lump of clay.
Prestonian Elizabeth and her wife Sarah met playing video games online and they now run a successful business providing voiceovers, character narrations and online voice acting courses. Having Nightingale as a surname made their decision to name their voiceover company Nightingale Voices, an easy one which was a stroke of serendipity. I used to know someone whose surname was Salmon but sadly he didn’t have a salmon voice. He sounded like a Brockholes European Honking Moose with its antlers caught in a telephone line.
Review: Getting that Fryday feeling on a Tuesday at this Preston restaurant
The Nightingales didn’t need much persuasion to join me on this particular review above “do you want to come with me to eat some ace food, drink cocktails and play video games all in the same place?” I’m not a fan of gaming but as I’ve eaten there before, just the chance to have another one of their magnificent hotdogs was enough to get me there again.
We were given a friendly “hello” when we entered on a Thursday lunchtime, and were handed some menus and advised to order at the counter when we were ready.
Elizabeth chose chicken strips, fries and a coke for £8 from the lunchtime menu, and was more than happy with the huge portion of tender, crunchy chicken and abundance of real chips. It might not be discernible in the photos but the dishes upon which the mains were served were more the size and shape of a roasting pan than a plate. Elizabeth only managed to eat about half and took the rest home.
Sarah went for the Snoop Dawg- an imported German weiner with caramelised onions (left off by request) bacon, chilli jam and chipotle from the main menu. It was a fair bit more expensive at around £12 without a drink but still worth it (I was going to order that but after they baggsied that option I felt I should go for something different in a fleeting, resentful wave of professionalism, so I can’t remember exactly how much it was). Sarah said it was “absolutely amazing”, which made me hate them a little bit.
I ended up going for the Vegan Dawg with fries because I was already disappointed so I may as well really lean into the tragic sadness.
The Vegan Dawg came with chips and a soft drink for £8 from the lunch offer. It was also imported from Germany, and to give it its due, it was the best vegan hotdog that I’ve ever had. It appeared to be fried so that it was crunchy on the outside, and the consistency and taste was actually pretty good. There was no mistaking it for the meat version, but combined with the top quality pickles and mustard it was a very acceptable alternative. The pre-seasoned crispy chips were lovely, but were as salty as I could manage even though I’m a big salt lover, so any non-saltaholics might be better asking for the seasoning on the table when they order.
As we started eating our meals a friendly waiter put a bonus dish full of gravy on the table “for you to dip your chips in, if you want,” which was way too casual an announcement for such a specular, thick gravy that at least deserved a smoke machine and some sexy music. If Prestonians already had access to this level of gravy in 1965 when Colonel Sanders had come poking around Fishergate looking for a place to set up his first chicken shop, he and his little tubs of brown goop would have been laughed straight back out of the UK. I mean it. This gravy is really that good.
Elizabeth ordered a cocktail from the menu and said that it was the best Pornstar Martini she’s ever had, which was high praise because she looks like she’s had loads.
We adjourned to the back room where there were some games set up, and I made them smile and pose for a photo holding the controllers because I was still mad about the sausage thing, but they managed to look cool despite that, which was even more annoying. Then they started happily playing one of the games and I went home.
All Hopes No Promises has endured despite a daunting number of setbacks and challenges, and is everything that a small independent eatery should be. There are fancier places to eat, but as far as value, taste, portion size, atmosphere and character, this is right up there with the best that our city can offer and we need to make sure that it stays afloat because Preston’s children need that gravy.
Read more: All of Karen’s reviews
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