Look, I get it, work sucks, even when you love what you do. The amount of days that I can’t be arsed to work outweighs the days I actually get off massively. That’s why God invented ‘pulling a sickie’. There’s no rush like phoning in with a fake cough, a forced sniff, or some too-gross-to-be-made-up symptoms, and sacking off the day.
Never tried it? Just call in ill on a random Wednesday. Throw on a disguise (or at least some sunglasses), grab a coffee on the go for that obvious hangover, and head to a museum for a few hours, before you pop home to catch up on your chores. But it appears that most of us in Bristol know this feeling all too well.
Workplace experts at Protecting.co.uk analysed regional search data to reveal where people are most likely to look up “how to pull a sickie”, and, well, you guessed it, we are far and away the winners. Bristol has the highest number of searches per internet user for terms related to ‘pulling a sickie’.
Bristol makes an estimated 311.2 Google searches per 100,000 internet users to place it first. This signals a trend of smaller cities ranking much higher than larger cities, with Nottingham and York finishing runners up—while Birmingham is 10th, and London is only 15th.
Top 10 cities that pull the most sickies:
- Bristol
- Nottingham
- York
- Leicester
- Hull
- Swansea
- Dundee
- Glasgow
- Sunderland
- Birmingham
You can see the full data here.
How do I avoid being caught?
To save you any more Googling, these are the telltale signs that you’re pulling a fake sickie. First, timing is key. Sick days that fall on Mondays or Fridays, or around long weekends, will always be questioned more than one-off absences in the middle of the week. The same goes for big holidays or events (hello World Cup), or if you work weekends.
You should also try to avoid repeating last-minute sick days. The occasional short-term illness won’t usually be questioned, but if sick days are last-minute and frequent, they can start to look deliberate. In fact, any sort of absence pattern will begin to raise eyebrows. Also, maybe don’t make a miracle recovery the next day either.
Finally, you don’t need to share explicit medical details, but if you do, overly medical-sounding terminology can make you look like you have researched what to say. But on the other hand, don’t change your reasons or give vague symptoms, as it will quickly make others question how sick you really are. Oh, and it should go without saying, don’t post anything on social media…
The post Bristol is officially crowned the top city for ‘pulling a sickie’ – here’s how to avoid being caught appeared first on Secret Bristol.
