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A West Australian MP fighting child sexual abuse charges says an email he wrote admitting the alleged crimes was a bid to protect his family and his alleged victim, not a confession.
James Dorrin Hayward has pleaded not guilty to four charges relating to the alleged abuse of an eight-year-old girl spanning two years.
The 53-year-old is accused of directing the girl to indecently touch him on three occasions and showing her how to search for pornography on the internet.
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The District Court trial in Perth was told the former television producer would get into bed with the child when he read her bedtime stories.
It has also been told he emailed what prosecutor Sean Stocks said was a "suicide note" to his wife a week after learning about the allegations.
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In it, he wrote: "In the coming days, I expect to be accused of child sex assault in relation to (a child), which I have done".
During a police interview played to the jury on Wednesday, Hayward denied it was a confession, saying that as a politician it was irrelevant whether he was guilty or not guilty and he wanted to avoid media scrutiny.
"When a member of parliament is charged with a child sex offence it's going to be a terrible outcome," he told the officer.
"These things that have been put in place … have ended or will end my MP career."
Hayward also said that if his "dark event" had happened he didn't want his wife to blame the alleged victim if he had died and the alleged admission was designed to avert this.
"These two families are close so if I'm out of the equation it would have been nice that they would have been able to continue the relationship," he said, referring to his and his alleged victim's families.
Hayward said he had wanted to stop the media from airing a story about the child abuse allegations against him, but "we are past that now because that is going to happen".
"That was the bit I was trying to avoid for everyone," he said.
Hayward resigned from the WA Nationals after the charges were laid in 2021 and continues to sit in the state's upper house as an independent MP.
The former pastor gave evidence late in the day, saying he was already under a lot of pressure from the Nationals when the allegations surfaced after news broke of his failed former business.
"It very quickly became too much and I thought my family would be better off without me," he said.
"I spiralled into depression and stopped eating."
Asked by his lawyer Tom Percy KC whether he had directed the girl to touch him, he said: "It's an absolute lie, it never happened".
He also said the allegation that he showed the child how to find pornography on the internet was: "A complete and utter lie".
"I've never done any indecent acts towards (the child) at all," he said.
Percy previously said Hayward's email was "foolish in the extreme" and a "misguided gesture" written during a stressful time in his life, and not an admission of guilt.
He said it was an irrational decision and his client was under enormous financial pressure following the failure of a business that left him owing hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Percy has been critical of the prosecution's case against his client, saying there was no medical or other physical evidence.
He also questioned the girl's honesty, saying she made up the allegation for fear of being punished by her parents after she was caught looking at animated Family Guy pornography on her iPad.
The trial continues on Thursday.
If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit 1800RESPECT.org.au. In an emergency, call 000.
