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A much-loved dad-of-three and avid rugby player died by suicide, an inquest concluded.
Preston Coroner’s Court heard that Ben Young, who lived in Walton-le-Dale, had no involvement with mental health services before taking his own life and had largely appeared to be in good spirits in the days before.
The Wigan Warriors fan was a player at Preston Grasshoppers RFC as well as working as a security guard and was a popular figure within his friendship circle and the wider Preston community.
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Tragically, he was found dead at his home in September to the shock and devastation of his loved ones.
As area coroner Kate Bisset opened the inquest into his death, she asked his gathered family members what kind of person he was and received responses which described him as a popular, well-liked man with lots of friends.
Summing up evidence from Ben’s ex-partner Becky Schollick, with whom he had two children, she explained that Ben had rarely been ill in the near-two decades they had known each other but suffered from pains in his stomach and chest earlier in the year.
This led to hospital stints and medication changes along with plans for an operation to remove his gallbladder.
The last time she saw him was days before his death and a week after he’d spent time in hospital. They had spent time together watching their son play rugby match, something Ben had always loved to do.
Becky explained that he had seemed in good spirits and was laughing and joking, but seemed preoccupied and was on his phone sending voice notes and messaged frequently which was unusual for him during such matches.
After the match, he arranged to pick his son up from training a couple of days later, leaving with his usual “love you, bye, see you later” message.
While she was aware Ben had had relationship problems with his most recent partner Lyndsay Bell, and had recently asked her to leave their home, he did not discuss any major problems or concerns in that final meeting. In her statement, Ms Schollick explained: “He always knew he could talk to me about anything. Ben had a lot of close friends who he could confide in.”
In Lyndsey’s statement, which was also summarised by Ms Bisset, she said: “He was generally a happy man. He had his many problems but he always seemed like he had it under control.
“He lived for his kids. He would do anything to make them happy. He would do anything for anyone and was a jack of all trades.”
But, she explained, she felt he saw showing his emotions as a “weakness” and a contradiction to his “Big Ben” nickname. The couple, who shared one child, split up on September 26, with Ben asking her to leave their home.
She returned four days later, in part to collect some items and in part to check in on him having received a concerning message a day earlier and noticing the Ring doorbell hadn’t shown him leaving for work that day. It was then that Ben was found dead.
The inquest heard that it was not the first time such a message had been sent by Ben and, as such, Ms Bisset said she sympathised both with Ms Bell not treating it more seriously and with other family members questioning why there wasn’t a more urgent response.
Attending in person, Detective Constable Christian Minorczyk explained that inquiries were carried out as with any other sudden or unexplained death and that police were able to rule out any signs of third party involvement.
Delivering a conclusion of suicide, Ms Bisset noted “he was not a man known to mental health services” and had a large circle of friends and family.
In the days after his death, Grasshoppers held a minute’s silence ahead of kick off and discussed the importance of reaching out for help when struggling with mental health.
Dan Orwin, coach at Preston Grasshoppers, one of the club’s coaches said: “Unfortunately, there is still a stigma associated with mental health, particularly with young men. It is OK not to be OK, and we need to keep spreading that message.
“We are currently in touch with Looseheadz, a rugby organisation focused on encouraging players to reach out and tackle the stigma, and we are in the process of putting a Mental Health Lead in place.”
A spokesperson for Barbican Security, where Ben had worked, said: “It’s with a heavy heart that we as a company have lost one of the OG’s.
“Ben Young, you were a massive part of this company and we all can’t believe that you have gone. You were a brother, comrade, friend and a warrior. You were loved by so many and you had a heart of gold.
“You were one of the good guys and will be missed by so many. Rest easy big fella. The man, the myth, the legend.”
Don’t suffer in silence. If you’re struggling with your mental health, you are not alone and there is a range of free-to-access services ready and waiting to help you.
- You can contact Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a year online, by email [email protected] or phone 116 123
- You can call the CALM on 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight every day) if you’re affected by suicide or suicidal thoughts or use its webchat service
- If you would prefer not to talk but want some mental health support, text SHOUT to 85258 for a confidential 24/7 text service providing crisis support
- If you’re under 35 and struggling with suicidal feelings, or concerned about a young person who might be struggling, you can call Papyrus HOPELINEUK on 0800 068 4141 (24 hours, 7 days a week), email [email protected] or text 07786 209 697
More information and support is available from the MIND mental health charity and from the NHS
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