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The son of a woman from Longton who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease two years ago has praised a group who support her.
Carl’s mother Kath worked as a dentist in Penwortham for 20 years, enjoying plenty of meals with friends and family at the local Italian after work. But after the diagnosis, her social circle began to shrink.
He said: “Mum became very anxious and reserved. She barely left the house and didn’t feel confident enough to see her friends because she felt like she would be judged.”
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Alzheimer’s disease is a form of dementia that affects memory, thinking and behaviour. The disease accounts for 60-80 per cent of dementia cases. Social withdrawal is just one of several symptoms that can intensify over time.
Paul Glazier, head of corporate partnerships for Alzheimer’s Research UK, said: “One in two of us will have our lives impacted by dementia.”
Finding Support
Across Lancashire, community groups and organisations are offering support throughout the year. Blue Flamingo is one of them, a Lancashire-based social group providing a dementia-friendly space for people to gather over a brew and cake.
For more than a year, Carl and his mum have been coming to Blue Flamingo each week. What began as a way to get Kath “out of the house a bit more” became a lifeline, especially at this time of year.
He said: ”Mum enjoys it here. She’s safe, she’s happy…and I can relax for a couple of hours, She’s become herself again”
Erin Singleton, founder of Blue Flamingo, can remember the first time Kath and Carl walked through their doors.
She said: “Kath was so anxious at first that she couldn’t make it through a whole session or let her son out of her sight. Now she makes it through a whole session and is up dancing without her stick…and Carl can speak to other people.”
Since joining, the change in Kath has been “magical.”
“The difference is unbelievable,” Carl said. “She dances now. She would never have danced six or seven months ago. She talks to people. She’s more open to doing things again.”
What began as a monthly meet-up, Blue Flamingo now runs weekly session across three locations: Penwortham, Ashton and Fulwood. Founder Erin set up the group after caring for her mother-in-law.
She told Blog Preston: “It was the most difficult time of my life.
“I would curl inward and became really insular. Somebody might ask me for a coffee, and I just couldn’t even answer a simple question like that.”
When lockdown began in 2020, Erin’s caring responsibilities for her mother-in-law peaked and she began bringing her along to baby groups with her one-year-old son.
She said: “I thought wouldn’t it be really good if there was something that was designed for people like my mother-in-law and with dementia that was appropriate and accessible.”
Navigating Christmas
While a lot of us spent this Christmas enjoying time with loved ones, for families living with dementia it can be bittersweet. Routines are disrupted, unfamiliar faces come home and surroundings are changed.
Erin said: “Christmas can be really confusing for someone with dementia.
“In someone’s reality it might not be anywhere near Christmas. Or it might make them think of people who they love and who they don’t know have passed away…which is distressing for carers.”
Carl, who cared for his mum over Christmas, takes a practical approach.
“I just get on with it. I always have done,” he said. “Planning is the key. Start early, get the routines ready and buy all your bits early.”
But Christmas time can bring moments of joy as well.
Carl said: “Mum loves seeing the decorations in the shops, the fairy lights. We put the tree up at home and she remembers it once she sees the picture…and she likes getting coffees out at Dobbies. She loves the singing here too- especially Sweet Caroline.”
“Although I can’t sing!” Kath interjected.
If you or someone you know needs support, here are some contacts that are offering help and advice: Blue Flamingo, Alzheimer’s Research UK, the info-line at Alzheimer’s Research UK operates 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday on 0300111511, Dementia UK’s helpline is on 0800886678 and the Alzheimer’s Society is on 03331503456.
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